Tuesday, April 28, 2009

6 Months ago today.....

It's hard to believe that today it has been 6 months since we got the news that would change our lives forever.  "Your husband, Captain Rob Yllescas of 6-4 Cav, Bravo Troop has been injured in Afghanistan."  I can remember that day in vivid detail.  It seems like yesterday.  Yet, it seems like years ago.  When I really stop and think about everything that's happened in the last 6 months, it almost takes my breath away.  I'm proud to say that the girls and I are moving forward.  We've started building our lives without Rob.  Not that there aren't days that it doesn't hurt.  The emotional roller coaster continues.  But, through our faith, family, and friends we're getting through it.  When there are days I'm feeling sorry for myself, I remember the promise I made to Rob before we took him off life support:  the girls and I would be ok.  As badly as I wanted it, Rob and my's destiny was not to grow old together.  In time, I may figure out why God's plan was this for us.  I've thought a lot about Rob's death at such a young age.  I truly believe that some people just know they aren't going to be here for long.  I feel Rob was one of these people.  I just get blown away every time I think about how much he truly LIVED in his short 31 years.  I'm truly blessed to have had him in my life for the 10 years I did.  I'm honored that he chose me to be his wife.  I will keep my promise to him because he would want nothing less.  I can hear him say his favorite saying:  "Suck it up and drive on."  Rob, thank you for being my rock even as one of God's angels.  

26 comments:

Household6 said...

I still can't believe it. Rob was such a good man, I was thinking today that I wish I had given him a bigger hug last time ya'll were around.

Heather

Guard Wife said...

In the past six months, I have thought about you and your daughters--sometimes several times in a day. I hope that the prayers and positive thoughts of everyone like me have been felt & continue to be so.

Thanks for sharing your journey with the rest of us.

jack burton said...

You're a bit of a granite yourself

Phil said...

Always remember with the prayers and help from all of us on here you will get through this though it will be tough at times.

The Bender's said...

I was reading a book today and one of the things that made me stop and think of you, Rob, and your family was that some things we will never understand here on Earth, but the promise of our God, His love will get us through the pain and unto a happy present in time. And even more a future that we will cherish and see more of His blessings. And then ultimately, the beauty of us all being reunited in Heaven.
Till then, we love and miss you Rob. And continue to pray for you, Dena and your girls to uncover blessing after blessing in the years to come.
We love you,
Karen and Craig

Nancy Christian said...

You are such a strong voice for military spouses that I know that you will always be a part of our lives. Thank you for sharing your story and your emotions. It takes courage to be this open.

Big hugs,

Nancy

Greg Lee said...

Dena:
You are so right. Rob would be proud of you and the girls. We all miss him and I know it will never be "ok." But the days will get better-the new normal.
I think about him all the time and pray for you and the girls. Make sure you get some time to reflect and relax. Go see the Huskers and call John P.
With great respect,
Greg

jaywalker said...

we have not forgotten!

Nancy said...

Honestly, I can't believe it's only been six months. It seems like you guys have come such a long way already- I am so proud of you and the girls. I wish (so badly) things were different too, but I'm happy to continue to be a part of your life, and I couldn't be more amazed by the example you are setting for military wives, your children, and anyone who loses a loved one.

xox

Bonnie Lacy said...

Dena, you beat me up! How do I mean that? I can be here in my little puddle of life, whining, complaining, and when I read you posts, God uses you to give me the spiritual two-by-four. I can't imagine the rough days. None of us can. This is a road that you and Jesus walk alone. But girl, you are doing an amazing job. Thanks for your heart. Your transparency. You are an inspiration.

Tammy said...

No I can't believe its been 6 months. I know Rob would be very proud of you, for sucking it up and carrying on! You would make a fine solider. Much stronger than myself, I'm amazed! Hugs from Fort Worth!

David M said...

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 04/29/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

Joe B. said...

Hello Dena,
I found your blog after a doctor who was stationed in Iraq cited a few of your entries on his blog (giving you credit, of course). Nancy Christian said something that really stood out: "it takes courage to be this open". She couldn't be more right. I just wanted to wish you all the best and say how in awe I am of your ability to stay strong for the sake of your beautiful children in the wake of a hero's passing. I'll be praying for you, Rob, and your daughters.

Sincerely,

Joe

Mitch and Vicki Coffin said...

We keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers - Dena, Julia, Eva, Barb, Otto, Chris, Jenny, Natalia, Ray and Esther, Al and Bev - in our prayers. Martin Luther King Jr said, "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." God's peace to all of you.
Mitch and Vicki Coffin

Anonymous said...

Wow six months, It's amazing how wonderfully you have held your beautiful family together during such a tragic time in your lives. You and your family will forever hold a spot in my heart, thoughts and prayers. I pray the next 6 months of your life get easier and bring you much happiness. Rob will not be forgotten!

Heather said...

Dena,
Wow, 6 months can be so short in so many ways and seem like a lifetime in so many others. I remember reading your blog for the very first time, approx. 5 days after your return to the States. I knew then that your family would become part of my daily routine and prayers. I have not wavered, checking this site as often as I can and praying daily. At first for Rob's recovery, then for your grace during difficult times, and now for your girls and you. I hope you feel those prayers on a daily basis and that they are helping. You are seriously the strongest, bravest woman I know. Keep the faith, hold tight to Rob's memory, and as he said, drive on! God Bless you!

Heather in Helena, MT

Carol said...

Hi Dena, I can,t beleive that it has been six months either. I think of you guys often and pray that you and the girls continue to grow.I know Rob is very proud of you. I think of this often Rob was injured about the same time we found out that my moms cancer came back. Mom has been gone 2 months now and I watch my dad trying to go on without her. (Dad said that you guys was doing good when he was there with Fred and Faye.) Any way I like to think that mom and Rob are togather in heaven. Take care. Love Carol

Lisa J. said...

Dena, you and the girls are amazing. We are proud of you and yet feel in awe of your examples. Thanks for continuing to post entries on your blog to share your ongoing experiences with us all. It is a great lesson to us to watch you overcome the struggles and trials you face, and it helps motivate us to work harder at coping more gracefully with our own.

Mike & Lisa Joner

Liz said...

I was just thinking this morning that the 6 month mark had to be close. Think of you every day. Lots of hugs.

Heather said...

Dena,
I didn't know you and Rob very well at all! But almost everyday something brings you all and your girls in to my thoughts and prayers! I'm proud of all you've done! Stay strong! And as always you(and your family) are in my thoughts and prayers!
God's Blessings!
Heather Sanchez :)

Jessica said...

Your faith and strenght continues to amaze me. Thanks for being such an inspiration of a loving wife. Rob is missed, although I have never met any of you, but you, your girls and him, have been to me examples of God's love, in his unique way. May God bless you all.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you and your girls today Dena as you pass the 6 month mark. I'm very proud of you for all that you have done to pick up and carry on. In the months and years come, I hope you and the girls find happiness in life that I know your Rob would want for you.

Carol Dzurenko
Powder Springs, GA

Anonymous said...

I am still oftening thinking of you and praying for you. I know Rob would be so proud. I have never met you, but listening to your blogs over the past 6 months, I have began to know how amazing you are. Your girls are lucky to have such a strong mom like you. Hang in there. I will keep praying! God bless you!

The Bender's said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new site look! Adorable pictures and man, you sooooo need to teach me how to be so brilliantly creative! You GO!

Love,
Karen

Eve said...

Hi Dena, I've wept with you and laughed with you. Thank you for continuing your blog. We don't know one another but I think of you and your beautiful girls daily. You are so fortunate to have such a large caring family and great friends, good for you. The new pictures are so cute.
Love and Hugs, Eve in California

Kim Decker said...

Dena,

I see you got your pictures to work out for the "new look" for your website. It looks great! I have been thinking about you non-stop for the past few days. I ahve been thinking about how there are "good days" and "bad days." I get it...please call me on one of those days and I will be glad to listen. After talking to you about your urgent need to redesign the web page, I had to chuckle to myself...I completely understood the urgency. I feel that way all the time.

On a more serious note, I is definitely hard to believe that it has been six months. Thinking back, it breaks my heart all over again. I am so proud of everything you have become over the past six months. You have grown into a rock strong person who still has enough compassion and sensitivity to cry when it is warranted. As you make more and more decisions about your future, trust yourself and trust your instincts. Your experiences with Rob and with the military have helped you shape some of those instincts and the person you have become. You are going to do great things in the years to come. There is no doubt in my mind.