Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Happy 8th Birthday Julia!

Yesterday was Julia's birthday.  It's so hard to believe my little girl is now 8.  I remember 8 years ago being in labor and having to go for an emergency c-section after 25 hours (with NO pain medication--yeah, don't know what I was thinking!).  I was completely out of it but mom later told me that Rob was so upset and scared seeing me in so much pain.  As they wheeled me to the c-section room, he told my mom that he never wanted to do this again.  Mom reassured him that once he held our little girl in our arms, it would all be worth it.  She was right.  One of our friends told me after Rob died that the day after Julia was born, they came to see us.  Rob was in the hallway and told them that he already loved being a dad.  And what a great dad he was!  This weekend we had a birthday party for Julia.  Our family came over and everyone had lots of fun.  Thank goodness for our trampoline because the kids were on there the whole time--Julia even opened her gifts on it!  lol  Then yesterday after school, we drove out to Osceola.  We stopped at the cemetary so Julia could release a balloon.  It's so surreal every time I go there.  I absolutely can't believe that Rob's spot is covered in grass and is no longer a large mound.  It makes me realize just how much time has passed.  He died 9 months ago today.  Crazy.  As Julia released her balloon, we watched it float high in the sky.  When we looked away for a second and looked back, we could no longer see it.  I asked Julia "Do you think Daddy grabbed it?"  "Yep" she said.  I, too, felt that he had.  On the way out of the cemetary, Julia said to me in the most innocent and excited voice "Wouldn't that have been cool if the balloon had carried us up there too?  Then when daddy got it, he would have said 'What a surprise!  I wasn't expecting you guys here!'  And then I would let go of the balloon and run to him yelling 'DADDY!!!!!' "   This hit me like a load of bricks.  I pictured how excited she would be if Rob were to miraculously come back to us.  It made me so sad.  But, then, it also reinstated the fact she knows she will see her daddy again someday.  I know Rob is looking down so proud of his little girl.  She is so smart and sweet.