Wednesday, January 14, 2009

We found a house

Well, I did find a house that I liked that I'm in the process of buying.  Julia was really really excited.  Before she saw it, I told her "Julia, you'll have to tell me if you like it."  She said "Mommy, I'll like anything as long as I can have my things back."  But, she did really like the house.  She said her favorite thing was the patio and her least favorite thing was "it needs a walk in pantry."  I think it's so funny that she said that considering she's 7!  I really think it will be great for the girls and I to get settled into our own place with our own things.  It's in a great location close to both of my brothers.  I think that Rob would be really proud of me for getting this house.  It's perfect for the 3 of us.  It still makes me sick, though,  to think that Rob will not be living with us in this house.  I would live in a cardboard box if it meant we could have Rob back again. On another note, Julia and I are going to the Charlie Brown Kids support group tomorrow night.  She is super excited to go.  I'm really glad about that because I think this will be great for her.  Again, thank you for the continued support.  Even though life goes on for us, it's still a struggle every day.  I still have a lot of emotions I'm dealing with.  And being a single parent is not easy.  At least when Rob was deployed, I had a light at the end of the tunnel.  I knew he would be coming back and would be able to help me out.  But now that light is gone.  I can't say enough how wonderful it is to have such amazing family and friends to help me out.  Thank you.


Anonymous said...

Dear Dena, It has been awhile since I have written I am sorry, So very excited to hear that you have found a house, You will be able to call it home real soon I hope. Glad that you and the girls are doing so well. It is a New Year and God is Good. He is always with you and the girls. Friends Forever, Fran

Jodee Leader said...

Congrats on the new house! It sounds perfect for you!

Dustin and Beth said...

I'm so excited for you! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and the girls. I hope this new year brings you much peace and happiness! Please post pictures of the new house when you get a chance!

Much love,
Beth Soechting

fpatlan said...

Dena..again you don't know me but I knew Rob...our mom's were very good friends we spent a great deal over at their house in Guatemala. Rob was a great friend. I have been following your blog since almost the beginning and your strength amazes me every time I read an entry. I hope one day that I will be able to meet you and your girls...

I know you know this already but you have so many people praying for you and you truly have been an inspiration to many of us out there that might be dwelling on the negative things in have made me think...on several occasions.

So I thank you for making my wheels turn...
If you ever want to read my can find me at

And please say hello to Barb for me. Would love to get back in touch with her.

Congrats on finding a house.

God Bless.

Jackie Fjell said...

Dena-I'm so glad you've found your own home and you and the girls will have your own things there to make it "yours"! I'm so sorry you have to go through this step, and especially without Rob. He will forever be in your hearts, which will reflect in your life! I pray daily for your continued strength. Thank you for keeping us all posted-I check several times a day on your progress. Take care of yourself! Love and prayers.......Jackie and Joe

Kansas Family of 5 said...

Congrats Dena! I know it must be hard, but I'm sure you'll find Rob's presence even in the new house! Just getting settled will help with the healing as well. Send us pictures and an address! If you need anything, remeber, we're not too far away!

LaForestGump said...

I stumbled upon your blog the other day, and it really struck a cord with me. I'm a military wife, and often I fear being in your position. I have to say that from the outside it looks like you are handling this entire thing with strength and grace. I just wanted to let you know that there are random strangers out there that think you are one tough cookie. :)

Nancy Christian said...

Good to know that you found a house! Congratulations on your strength and I hope you find some support at the Charlie Brown group.

Still thinking about you.

Nancy Christian

Anonymous said...

Hi Dena,

Congratulations on the house! Angie told me about it last night and it sounds like we'll be neighbors! Ok, a few minutes apart, but pretty close. :) I look forward hanging out! See you soon.


Faith Jordan said...

You continue to amaze me with your strength--How great for you to have found a home that you and Julia like and to be close to your brothers. I'm sure Rob guides your decisions. Angels do that, ya know. You are ever in my thoughts and prayers.

Donna Mentink

aheartfromtheblueridge said...

Hi Dena,
I am very happy that you found a house and that soon you will have your things back. Yes, nothing like a walk in pantry! But having a nice patio is excellent.

Good for you for taking care of yourself by going to the Charlie Brown Kids group, I hope it will serve you guys well. Please let us know how it goes.

You are a dear, dear lady and all of you are still in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for keeping us posted, it means a lot.


The Bender's said...

Awesome news about the house and just had to smile at Julia's comment about the pantry! Too cute! Congratulations on doing a great job on finding your next home. It is never an easy task and you have been incredibly strong doing this pretty much solo for your family. No doubt Rob is extremely proud and smiling at his girls! And of course, you have many supporting and loving you each and every step of the way!

We love you,

Kathy Catalanotto said...

Hello Dena,Julia & Eva,

You are in our daily thoughts and prayers.
God Bless you.

With our love, thoughts & prayers,
Kathy & Chris Catalanotto & family

David M said...

The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 01/15/2009 News and Personal dispatches from the front and the home front.

Julie. Soldiers Angels said...

Dena, you're doing so great, and I agree..Rob would be so proud. I'm glad to hear you have found a house close to your family for that much needed support. I'm sure there are many difficult moments as you struggle through this new reality. You're doing all the right things for you and your girls, including the Charlie Brown group you and Julia will attend. Your openness and honesty with all your emotions, including in the most vulnerable of times, are so important. Keep on having faith and God will see you through. Know we are all out here praying for you and the girls. God Bless

Trisha said...

Thanks for the update. I think of you and the girls all the time and am thrilled you have found a new place. It will certainly help to get yourselves settled in a bit. Congratulations on your positive steps.
Thinking of you,

About The Caddo Tribe said...

I am happy that you found a house and I hope you will be able to create many happy memories in it. Our family still prays for you every morning and evening.

Shani Ginani

joyce said...

I'm so glad you found a house. And so cool that your daughter wants her own things around her. Your own space, your own retreat, and your own place to relax. I had three boys, and when they were teens, they could not wait until their big brother went off to college so they could have their own rooms. I don't think their oldest brother had even turned the corner before they were in there making it theirs...

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy you found a house that you like (despite the pantry issue). It will be nice to get settled with all of your own stuff. I hope Julia enjoys her support group and that the New Year brings you peace and many blessings. You and your family are in our continued thoughts and prayers!
God Bless,
Katie Kazor

Liz said...

Dena, congrats on the house!! So happy you found a place. Hoping this new start for you and the girls will be new light and hope to your lives. I can only imagine how lonely and scary it must be but please know there are people out there who care, pray, and are willing to be here anytime.

Anonymous said...

Hi! Congrats on finding a new home. I can imagine it will be difficult though moving in without Rob. I come to your blog on a daily basis and you and your family are never far from my thoughts and prayers. I am a perfect stranger but I find great strenghth and wisdom in you. I continue to read that your so strong and everyone keeps telling to be strong. I do agree with that but I also think that you should know it's ok to fall apart completely sometimes you have every right to feel every range of emotions right now. I do pray that life will bring you some type of peace and that you can soon settle into a new unknown normal! May God bless you and keep you and those precious girls safe. Also Dena I am a military spouse and I would like to thank Rob for his service and sacrifice and you as well for your devotion. know you and Rob will never be forgotten in my mind.

Anonymous said...

Family Yllescas:

Otto, Chris, Jenny, Barbara, Nathalie, Dena , Julia & Eva ...

Our support here for you... God will give you the peace and happiness you need in your hearts for this loose, hang in... Pray and pray because he is the only one who can help all of you....

Nancy said...

Julia is wise beyond her years- I've always said that about her... she's an "old soul" in so many ways. I love it. Looking forward to hearing about the meeting tomorrow... Keep up the good work Dena...

Heidi said...

I found your blog from a link on another blog. I know how you feel about this whole process . . . I am four years into this same situation/journey . . . if you need anything don't hesitate to ask those who have been right where you are . . . good luck.

Carol said...

HI Dena, Congrates onyour new home. In time it will feel like you home once you get your things in there. I'm reading a book and it backs me think of you each time I pick it up. Your love of God shows in every thing you do and say. I'm so glad that you guys are going to the support group. Kids can say the cutties things. You guys are in my prays daily. Love Carol

mike from topeka, ks said...


Congratulations on finding the house. In time it will become "Home" to you and the girls.
Rob would be so proud of you for moving forward and providing for your family.
I've been praying for you and the girls and can see some prayers being answered.
I'll pray for the kids support group and that healing can take place for Julia.
Keep your eyes on The Lord and keep Rob's memories alive in your heart.
MIke from Topeka, KS

Bonnie Lacy said...

I didn't read all of the other comments, but wow, Dena. Huge step, girl. Good job.

Thanks for keeping us posted. Each time you write, it becomes a testimony of what God is doing in your life. I think someone commented in the beginning. This whole blog, right from the beginning is blessing so many lives, and you will be able to look back and read it all someday. It's tough to go thru the crap, and we don't know why things happen, but without trying to, you have ministered to so many with your honesty.

We love you girl!

Rich and Bon

Jaime Pachta said...

Hi Dena,
Congratulations on finding a house. It soon will become "home" for you and the girls. Rob would be proud of you for staying strong and providing for your family. It will be good for you and the girls to get settled and find your new "normal".
I hope you had a great Christmas. I talked to Grandma and she said that you did. My kids said that they saw you at Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary dinner. Dan and I were in San Diego for one of his meetings, so we were unable to attend. I just want you to know that I think of you daily and hope that you are doing o.k. The healing process is going to take time, but I know you, and you are one strong person. Lean on the support of others, and also the thought that even though Rob isn't with you physically, he is in spirit.
"He whom we love and lose if no longer where he was before, he is now wherever we are."
Take Care of you, and hang in there. Love, Jaime

Jaime Pachta said...

Hi Dena,
I just sent you a message and lost it completely. Ugh...sometimes computers can be such a headache!!
I am happy for you that you found a new home for your family. Rob would be so proud of you right now. It will be good to get settled in and find a new "normal" for you and the girls.
I hope you had a good Christmas. I talked to Grandma and she said you did. My kids said they saw you at Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary dinner. I wanted to go, but Dan and I were in San Diego for one of his meetings.
I just want you to know that I continue to think about you daily and hope that you are doing o.k. The healing process is going to take time, but I know you, and you are one strong person. Lean on the support of others, and also the thought that Rob may not be with you physically, but he is in spirit.
"He whom we love and lose is no longer where he was before, he is now wherever we are."
Take care of you, and hang in there. Love, Jaime

Household6 said...

YAY!! Hope everything goes smoothly!



connie pat said...

Congrats on finding a house! I know you and the girls will give it all the love it needs. And having it close to your brothers is great. Remember all of us are not very far away.Have fun decorating it.Love always.

Michelle Nelson said...

Dear Dena,

Congratulations! I know you are thrilled to find a new home! I am so very happy for you.

Please know that you and the girls remain in our nightly prayers.

Good luck at the counseling sessions! I am sure that you will find them very helpful as will Julia. Between your family and the counseling sessions you are well loved and well taken care of!


Long-time RN said...

Hi Dena,

Congratulations on the house! Good to read you'll be near family. Your daughter's comment is priceless!

Your family is in our thoughts often. You're moving forward with such strength and focus while coping with so many emotions. As many others have written, hope you find peace and harmony in your new home.

Thoughts and prayers for continued strength. Take good care of yourself.

Donna Walker said...


Glad to hear you found you new home. It's definetly a step forward in taking things day by day. I just smiled from ear to ear about Julia's comment. It's amazing how wise our kids can be. It still blows my mind with some of the things that come out of their minds. Please know you will always have friends keeping you in our thoughts and always will have a door open for you whenever you need one.

Donna W.

Toni said...


I am so proud of you for keeping on for you and your girls. As another military wife and mother I just want you to know you and your girls are not forgotten. I continue to pray for you and your family. Your military family continues to support you and your girls and always will!!

From Hanging-on-mom

Heather said...

Dena~ Congrats on the house! That is such a big step. I am so pleased to hear that Julia helped you pick it out. Sounds like she is a girl who knows what she wants in life. Best of luck with the Charlie Brown group. Have fun moving in and making memories with your darling daughters. Remember, although Rob is not with you physically, he'll be in your thoughts and become part of the fun times you have in the future. God Bless and take care!

Heather in Helena, MT

Anonymous said...

Dena -

Thinking of you and you girls as you transition to your new life in Nebraska. You need not worry, Rob's presence will be felt no matter where you and the girls live. As long as you need him to be, he'll be right there with you in your heart and your thoughts and dreams and in so many little ways. Your girls will keep you going, even when you don't really want to, they'll be the reason for getting up and on with it each day. In time, you will find enjoyment in your life.

Hang in there. I pray for you daily. You are going to be okay.

Carol Dzurenko
Powder Springs, GA

Mitch and Vicki Coffin said...

Dena, Julia, and Eva,
Such good news about finding a house and being able to be close to your family! Also good to hear about connecting with the support of Charlie Brown's Kids.
We appreciate that you share how things are going. You are a witness to all of us that even in the darkest of days, we are lifted up. As in the 23rd Psalm, ("Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death . . ."), we will not "remain in" but will be carried "THROUGH" those dark days.
God's peace, and of course as always, you have our hugs and prayers.
Mitch and Vicki Coffin :-)

ashleyclynch said...

Dena~ I stumbled across your blog. I was in tears are such a strong person and I admire your positive thinking, especially with your little girls! It must be so hard for you. Keep your head up!! Your little ones are precious! I know they probably keep you going!

Anonymous said...

Hello there. Sorry so late. I've read all your blogs right away, but i'm usually on the go. I just wanted to say congrats on the new home. I hope you'll be able to post some pictures of it sometime. I am always thinking of you and continue to pray for you and your family. Take care, and can't wait to hear more.
lacey c

Pamela @ Frugal Vet Tech said...

I'm so glad you've found a house for you and the girls. I can't imagine, however, how difficult that must be. My heart breaks for you and your girls. It sounds like you have a great family that will provide you with lots of support, though, which always helps. You're in my prayers. (I'm another one of those people you don't know. I've commented a time or two before.)

Anonymous said...


Not long ago I stumbled across your blog and followed your story post by post. Your husband helped turn this world into a better one. He will always be remembered. As much as he has been an inspiration to you, you are an inspiration to me. All the best to you and your family.

Ursula from Austria

Tiffany Simonsen said...


First off, I want you to know that I'm impressed by your faith and strength. You are truly an inspiration!a

Also... since we both live in Lincoln, if there is anything you need or want help with just let me know. That also applies if you just need a little break from the daily grind. Sometimes getting together with girl friends makes a difference when your going through a rough time. And I'm always game for a girls' day or night out. :)

Continue to hang in there, you and the girls are doing a great job.

Tiffany Simonsen

Quinn and Melanie said...

Hi! So good to hear you guys found a new home to call your own. I cannot wait to see pictures of it. Please forgive me for not posting a comment for a while, Quinn got block leave and we did some traveling and then I have been sick. You, Julia and Eva are in my daily thoughts and prayers.

I hope the Charlie Brown group goes well it is good to hear how excited Julia is about it. She is such a strong little girl, I guess she must have gotten that from her parents. :)

Thank you for still sharing your journey with us.

Thinking of you always,
Mel, Quinn, Lauren & Meghan

Tim and Kim Decker said...


I'm so glad to hear that you found a house. We can't wait to come and see it! Let Tim and I know when we can come help you move in, paint, hang pictures, etc. We'd love to help you out.

Yes, Rob would be incredibly proud of you, Dena. I have often thought that if I could have 5 minutes to talk to Rob again and give him one message, that message would be that he should be proud of you. It would take me a lot longer than 5 minutes to explain all of the reasons why he should be proud, but I think he would get the picture quickly.

Take care of yourself, Dena, and lean on your friends. We love you!

nacotaco said...

Hi Dena, bitter-sweet glad you have found home.....blessings are found even in the worst of trials...much peace and blessings thru Jesus...take care

Nancy said...

How's it going Dena? I miss you!