We finally have our OWN house in Nebraska!!

Well, Tuesday I closed on my house in Nebraska.  It went smooth and I felt rather proud of myself for being able to buy a house on my own.  However, saying that, this milestone is also very bittersweet.  I'm very nervous about owning a house all by myself.  Granted, I'm extremely lucky to have an awesome father and brothers, but it's still nerve wracking!  I just wish Rob was living with us.  There are so many things I want to ask his opinion about and I find myself arranging the house by how I know he would have liked it.  My dad, my brothers, and I are leaving early in the morning to go to TX.  The packers and movers will be at the house there Mon-Wed and my brothers are driving my boat back for me.  Obviously, I'm anxious to have our things back and put into our new house, but I'm absolutely dreading the house in TX becoming empty.  I loved that house and Rob and I had it built together.  It would have been one thing if we were moving somewhere else the Army took us but it's so much HARDER leaving it without Rob.  That being said, I think it will help me move forward by getting settled in a new house.  I have lots of projects planned to keep me busy.  The movers are delivering our things on the 5th of March so between when we get back from TX and the 5th, my dad and I are putting hard wood floors on the main level of the house.  Plus, I also have to get Julia's room painted!  Both of those things are much easier to do BEFORE the furniture arrive!!  In my whole adult life I've never lived in a house longer than 2 years so I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to do several "projects" and rearranging in the years to come to make it feel "new" again! On a different note, Julia and I attending another Charlie Brown's group last night.  Julia usually isn't too eager to go but I still have her go because I feel in the end, it will be very beneficial to her.  Last night they started talking about the grief process and this will take several of the days to cover.  Well, when we were done, Julia said to me "Mommy, we can't miss for 2 weeks because we're talking about our feelings.  Feelings that we think are bad, like anger, really aren't bad if you learn how to use it in a good way!"  I was so happy that she was excited about this.  I can see she is listening and getting things out of it.  Plus I think it helped because last night there were several girls her age in her group.  So, little by little, minute by minute, we'll continue to figure out how to get through life without Rob and daddy.  

Rob's Oil Painting

Here is the oil painting I was telling you about.  I know many of you wanted to see a picture of it.  I've also included the actual photograph the artist used for the painting.  Now you can understand what I meant when I said I was floored!  He did an absolutely amazing job.  Project Compassion is a wonderful foundation.  Their work means so much to people like myself.  It is something that will always be cherished.  

All Partied Out!

Whew!  It's been a busy week for us.  The day after Eva's birthday, was my niece Megan's 4th birthday.  My brother and sister in law decided to wait to do her birthday party until the following weekend, but on her birthday we went to Chuck E Cheese's.  Of course, every child LOVES Chuck E Cheese's, but I was SHOCKED at how much Eva liked it!  I put her on one of the rides and couldn't get her off of it!  She would cry and cling to it every time I would try to take her off of it.  It made me laugh.  There's one ride that when you're on it, it takes a picture of you.  Well, I think I have about 6 pictures of Eva on that ride because she was always on it.  :)  Julia also amazed me at how many tickets she won from the different games she played.  Before, Rob would always have to help her because, of course, Julia would always want to buy some big gift with the small amount of tickets she won and came out with a pencil!!  So, Rob bless his heart, would play and play just so Julia could come out of there with at least a pencil and a lip gloss or something!  Well, that night, she was loaded with tickets and left with several little things that she was really happy with.  She just knew that her daddy would have been so proud of her.   I know he would have been, too!  Then later that week, Julia and Eva both went to the doctor.  First of all, their doctor is an hour away, but that's a whole other issue I have with Tricare (the military medical insurance) right now and won't even get into that right now!!  Anyways, Eva had her one year check up.  She weighs 20lbs 11oz and is 28 1/2in long!  She also had to get her shots (which always break my heart) but she took them like a trooper and after only crying for a minute, was on to bigger and better things.  They said she is right on par with her development and even a little advanced with her comprehension.  Julia's been having stomach problems ever since Rob deployed.  We had her seen while we were in TX and again this time and both can't find anything wrong and feel it is stressed reduced.  Bless her heart.  I bought her some kid's Tums and she says those help her alot.  Later that day, I went and bought Eva her "big girl" carseat.  She looks so little in it but she thinks she is big stuff when she rides in it.  She loves the new "view" from the front!  Then on Saturday, we had Megan's birthday party.  Before the party, I went shopping with my mom and found material for curtains in my new bedroom that she is going to make.  Then we went to the mall and there is an indoor carausol that Megan and Julia wanted to ride (and of course Eva).  So, I got volunteered to go with them.  And boy, I can tell that I'm getting old because the girls LOVED it and I left that thing feeling so sick!!  I definetly don't think I could go on a roller coaster anymore!  Then we all took the girls to the party.  Eva discovered how to blow on one of those party blowers.  It was so funny watching such a little thing be able to do that!  Those are hard to do!  Every time she would do it, we would all laugh because you couldn't help not too.  Then that night we went back to my parents in Osceola.  The next day we went to my great-aunt's 80th birthday party.  It was so nice seeing people I hadn't seen in awhile.  Then AFTER THAT (whew!), we went to my cousin's house for her daughter's one year birthday party.  Of course, Eva went crazy when she saw Amarae's birthday cake and thought she should be able to squish her hands in the cake too!  So, as you can see, we have been REALLY busy!  On top of all that, I'm still doing my usual paperwork and getting ready to close on my house in exactly ONE WEEK!!  I'm so excited.  I'll be going down to TX the 21st with my dad and brothers.  They are going to help bring back my boat and some other things and then I'll stay a few more days with my dad while the packers and movers are there.  Unfortunately, the movers won't deliver our things to our house in Ne until March 5th, but after thinking about it, that will be ok since I can get things done (like putting cabinet locks on ALL my cabinets since Miss Eva loves to rearrange things in the cabinets several times a day & do a little bit of painting).  It will be nice to finally be moved in, though, because by the time we get our things, it will have been over 4 months since we had them.  That's so hard to believe.  Also, after Rob died, I received a note from something called "Project Compassion".  They said they would make an oil painting of Rob for free.  I sent in the pictures and when I was at my parents' house, the painting had arrived.  It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!  I can't believe someone can be that talented.  It looks exactly like Rob.  It's 16x24.  It is something that the girls and I will always cherish.  Thank you, Project Compassion.

Happy 1st Birthday, Eva Grace!!!

I made a whirlwind trip to Texas this past week.  I needed to bring my car back so I flew down to Tx.  I was able to see one of my friend's husband who was home on R&R.  Then I did a bunch of things with the house to get it ready for the movers.  I took all the pictures off the wall and patched up all the nail holes.  The office was the hardest to do since all the pictures that were hanging, Rob had put up.  I saved it for last and took pictures of the entire room so I would always remember it.  I have to say that this trip to the house was a lot harder than when I went down for the memorial service.  I was by myself this time and the silence was deafening.  I absolutely love my house but I couldn't stand to be alone in it.  My friend Ali then drove with me back to Nebraska.  Ali and I went to see Rob at the cemetary.  I had bought a little Willow Tree figurine that was a little girl holding a balloon saying "birthday girl"  and a pink rose that I put on his grave.  Ali bought a yellow rose and guardian angel pin from the guys and also layed it next to him.  I cannot believe my little baby is now one year old!  It's so bittersweet.  Rob was supposed to be here for her birthday.  This morning when we woke up, my parents, Julia and I all told Eva happy birthday.  Eva then said "da-da".  Julia said "Don't worry.  Daddy will be there.  He'll see you at your party."  That little girl never ceases to amaze me!!  We had a great time with family and friends.  Eva was a hoot with her cake thoroughly enjoying all the delicious sweetness! :)  So much has happened this past year but it still seems she should NOT be one!!!  Time truly does fly.  She is more fun every single day and I can't help but feel blessed that my two girls are in my life!!!!