The rollercoaster continues....

Six months ago today I had to let the love of my life go.  It seems like an eternity ago but I can still feel him so close to me.  I admit, most days are getting easier.  However, as the end of the deployment approaches, the more reality is setting in.  Before, I was able to trick my mind into thinking he was deployed.  But when the soldiers get off the bus and greet their families, mine won't be there.  I won't receive that hug.  Julia won't get to wrestle with daddy and Eva won't get to know the man that held her tiny body before he got on that bus to take him to the airport.  It's so bittersweet.  I'm very relieved the guys came home safe and are now able to reunite with their families.  But, my soldier didn't.  The only thing we have left are memories and the knowing that one day we will have our reunion.  There are so many new firsts that are facing the girls and I.  Some are empowering but most are scary.  I know Rob is walking beside us and guiding our way, I just wish he was physically here doing it.  The more I move forward, the more it feels like I'm letting go.  But, no matter what, Rob will always own a very special part of my heart.  I can see him through our children and feel so blessed every single day that he gave them to me.  Julia has his looks and Eva has his personality.   Pictures are so critical for Julia's memories and Eva's recognition of who her father was.  But pictures just don't do Rob justice.  He had a presence that filled a room.   He was a stern yet respected leader to his soldiers and a kind and loving father to his children.  One of my friends had a quote that I absolutely love: "Some heroes wear capes.  Mine wore combat boots."  Rob, you are my hero.  I love you so much and everything I do, I do so I can see you again in Heaven.