Seeing Rob for the first time.

Well, today was an emotionally draining day. I spent about 4 hours with Rob. I had mentally prepared myself for how Rob would look with his injuries but was not prepared with how swollen he would be. Had it not been for his hair, I would not have recognized him. During surgery they said his intracranial pressures had gotten a little high and that's why his face was so swollen but that he looks 100% better than before the surgery. He had a c-collar on. They don't think he has a spinal injury but cannot completely clear him since his shoulders are so large and he's hard to position correctly. The collar is just for preventative measures until they are 100% positive. He also had his tracheotomy placed and was hooked up to the ventilator. During surgery his jaw was "wired" using rubberbands. These will stay in place for a minimum of 6 weeks. I looked under his sheets and his poor abdomen was so bruised it was almost black and he looked like he was 9 months pregnant. His thighs and arms were also swollen. During the surgery they also decided to wait with the femur fracture since too much time had passed and said that sometime in the future he would probably need a hip replacement since a strong hip is so important for the prosthetics. Although he was unconscious, I held his hand and Barb, my mom and I told him stories about the girls and how much love, support and prayers he was receiving from family, friends and perfect strangers. After a while, mom and Barb left to go buy Rob some clothes. He was given money for this but it was only good while we were in Germany so I had them do it so he'd have nice clothes to wear while he was rehabilitating. When they were gone, I read him the letters Julia had written to him. I have to also admit that at times I broke down and cried to him. I mean, this was his LAST deployment and he had gone through 2 previous ones without any injuries. It's just so unfair. I apologized for not being strong but told him I knew he understood since he knows I tend to cry easily! It's just so hard seeing this strong man whom you rely on as the rock to be in such devastating conditions. I sat there kissing his hand and telling him how much I love him and how much he means to so many people. I did find out during the nurses report that they had taken him off most of his sedation medications. This bothered me a bit since he hadn't moved for me but I also know it can take your body a very long time to recover from such injuries and this is his body's way of healing. I'm sure it was in my head, but at some points when I was holding his hand, it felt like he was holding it tighter. I truly feel like he sensed our presence. I also spoke with the anesthesiologist and he told me that he has personally seen Rob flutter his eyes. At this point, I want to hold on to ANY tiny piece that can lead to an improvement in his cognitive status. As far as when he's flying to the states, he is scheduled to go tomorrow but he is having some issues with his blood pressure being a little low and signs of a possible small infection starting. They are changing some antiobiotics and will monitor him during the night and will decide in the morning if he is leaving tomorrow or Tuesday. Either way, I only want to do what is BEST for Rob. Although today has been a tough day, I truly believe God is an awesome God and has the power to do anything. With all the prayers coming our way, I know Rob is rwapped in His arms. I will try to update again soon depending on when we fly. Keep checking the blog and posting comments. They mean so much!!!